I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this chance to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in a lengthy while, I do not feel alone.
Part of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I would be doing so for the wrong reason; as a means to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to generally share wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have let you see inside a course in miracles. Don’t want it troubling your mind, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I could not consider something that I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’satisfaction, by just my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief will be (has been?) released.
There are other things that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.